Great Mouse Detective 2: Case of the Urinal Deuce
by StupidSequel
Summary: Basil of Baker street has yet another mystery to solve. WHO MADE DOOKIE IN THE URINAL? Inspired by a season 10 episode of South Park.


**The Great Mouse Detective 2: the Case of the Urinal Deuce**

Inspired by that one episode of South Park. This is all done by the genius minds of Pixar, who coughed up the critically panned Cars 2 since Toy Story 3 will be a super tough act to follow. Congratulations (sarcasm). I have seen The Great Mouse Detective, but it's been forever and I barely remember ANY of it.

One day the titular character Basil of Baker Street was taking a leak in the urinal when he fixed his eye on something peculiar.

"WHO MADE DOOKIE IN THE URINAL?" he demanded. "Come hell or high water I will find the culprit, and make **them **clean it up!" Dr. Dawson's jaw dropped down to hell, but unlike in my Saved by the Bell crack, this time it was not literal.

"Have you gone mad? I mean, are you still a recovering alcoholic?"

"I need somewhere to go peepee because some douchebag had the audacity to take a shit in the urinal and that is where I go peepee, and now I have nowhere to go peepee!" Basil ranted. He was eyeing Dawson suspiciously.

"I swear to the fictional God that I did not even go near the urinal enough to take a dump. Maybe our pet Basset hound did it. He's always being in things he shouldn't ought to be."

"Ruh ruh!" their pet Basset hound said exactly like our pal Scooby.

"Welp, I guess I'll take your word for it, but I don't remember your name."

"Toby." the basset hound said.

"Or not to be. That is the question. But wut is your name?" Basil pressed.

"Toby." the basset hound said.

"Or not to be. That is the question. But wut is your name?" Basil pressed. This went on like that for quite some time. Toby face pawed. Dr. Dawson was watching a television program that reminded Basil of consuming 50 tons of sugar. He was watching Sesame Street. And he was giggling. With excitement! That would be excusable if he was a Brony and if he was watching My Little Pony Friendship is Magic.

"I just got a raging clue," Dr. Dawson said when he saw stink lines coming from Oscar the Grouch's trash can.

"My clue is pointing this way," Basil insisted.

"I got clue goo all over my pants," Dr. Dawson refclutted (made up word. Don't ask what it means).

"My clue just turned into stairs," Basil said (turned into stairs is an inside joke).

"Eff you, dude! My clue can divide by zero!"

"My clue is pointing this way." In case you couldn't tell, they were talking like the hardly boys in the South Park episode that this fic was inspired by. "Hmmm. I know there's some reason Oscar the Grouch is always in that trash can, and there were stink lines coming up from it, and when I went to the urinal, there was a fudge dragon looking straight at me, so I had to go use the shitter."

"Have you ever seen him leave the trash can?"

"NO!" Basil said in a way that reminds you of Chuggaaconroy's epic NO! "Wait. If he never leaves the trash can, then that means he always shits in it, due to not having access to a toilet. Eventually, oh. Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"I'm a pile up."

"I'm a pile up who?" Dr. Whoever the fug I said was Basil's asst said before he could stop himself. Basil chuckled. "What. Oh, you dirty bass tard."

"Anyway, I lost my train of thought. I think it left the station without me. God, I need a ticket."

So Basil traversed the whole nine yards to the train station to purchase a ticket.

"Yes, I need a ticket to catch my train of thought." Basil requested.

"Very funny. Why not go out of my sight forever and walk through the wall at platform nine and three quarters." The ticket booth lady said as a mouse wearing glasses and a lightning bolt scar on his forehead was walking into the wall to catch his train. Basil tried to do the same thing. He fell down flat on the floor. The ticket booth lady laughed as hard as a 'that's what she said' joke about a hard double entendre. Basil suffered a broken nose as a result and had to be taken to a hospital when he was treated by... SPOTTEDLEAF? Spottedleaf was a pretty tortoiseshell she cat who put on a ton of Axe body spray. Gee, I thought she would have learned that she's not wanted from my Spottedbrain fanfic. Oh well. Am I lying about her treating Basil? NO!

"Do not be afraid even though I am a cat and eat mice. As long as I am around, nothing bad ever happens. You will be healed in 3..2..1.."

"Yay, I'm healed. But I gotta Axew something. Since the author of this fanfic is submitting this as a Sesame Street crossover with The Great Mouse Detective, and there is no room for a third option, and Warrior Cats would fit that slot like a lean guy wearing one of them sleeveless tanks."

"Let me explain. I have the power to bend reality and make this not a warriors crossover even though it is by definition just cuz I said so, cuz I'M SPOTTEDLEAF." She disappeared in a plume of sweet smelling smoke.

Basil walked back home. "Oh Dod Gammit, I forgot my train ticket! Oh well. Where I end up I'll be away from the strip teasing mouse ad infinitum. So if Oscar the Grouch never accesses a toilet, then all those fudge dragons he lays would eventually fill it to the brim, but then why couldn't he have used the bowl... unless he's a male, and we all know mens' restrooms only have urinals, so of course he had nowhere else to poo."

So Basil, his Commie assistant equivalent to Watson, and his pet Basset hound who's not named Sebastian and who's not blind all climbed into their Mystery Machine and drove to the alley where Oscar the Grouch spent his miserable life.

"It's true. I laid a mud monkey in the urinal because my trash can was full. The stalls were full and I did not want to miss recess." Oscar confessed. "I'm sorry you had to be the miserable one to clean it up. NOT!" Oscar guffawed.

SCENE MISSING

A magical walrus wearing a top hat handcuffed Oscar.. "And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling mice, and Walrus."

"Thank you Mr. Flippers." Mr. Flippers flew away on a magical rainbow trail like the Poptart cat meme.


End file.
